I had a chat with a superior of mine about some progress in my life (that’s not vague at all). He told me something that broke my heart: I gave off the impression that I wasn’t trying.
I couldn’t believe it. I’d always prided myself in saying that the best I could do is try my hardest. And now I’m being told that I’m failing. I said things like does it not seem like I care and want to do well? And then I realized there’s a difference between caring and trying.
There’s actually four things I’ve realized. There’s caring, wanting, needing and trying. And I guess to try, you got to want. And need. It almost feels like I have to reevaluate what I want in life and am I really trying to get it? The answer seems like I’m not. Boy that sucks.
What does it mean to try? A Google definition search reveals it as “to make an attempt or effort to do something.” So I guess effort is another element to consider. And effort is defined as “a vigorous or determined attempt.”
A lot of “attempts” there. But nothing of accomplishment or success. But perhaps that’s the accomplishment: the success of trying.
So let’s rewrite or books and rediscover what it means to try. And I think once we figure that out the we can know what we want and need.