Thoughts about Life

Having many friends but very few close friends

I know a lot of people. Many of them I consider friends. They come from in town, out of town, from elementary, middle, high school and university. Or from work, family get togethers, trips, social gatherings, synagogue, and even Facebook. As a matter of fact, I have many ‘friends’ on Facebook. (You probably do too).

I guess it’s save to say I’m a friendly guy and people like me as well.

But there are some friends some of us do lack. They’re the most important ones. The ones on speed dial. The ones you have at and invite to your wedding party.

They are the close friends. The best friends.

Chances are they come in groups – such as a close circle (a brat pack, tripod, a Fab Four/Five, the circle of trust). Or maybe it’s the one person who you can tell anything. They may not be your husband or wife but they’re pretty much family.

You communicate with them on a regular basis. You know each others’ lives’ details. You know each other in and out. You don’t have to get their attention since they’ve always had it anyway.

These friends don’t have to invite you anywhere. You know what’s going on – birthdays and engagements babies etc

But if not, you’re stuck finding out about all this on Facebook.

Let’s say tons of your friends are getting married, which is of course fantastic. If you have many close friends then you have no reason to worry that there won’t be a place card with your name on it. But if not, you’re just smiling spectator, holding out for the first dance and than bouncing.

I personally never grew up with a circle of close friends. As a matter of fact, I liked that I was able to go from group to group, staying ‘in touch’ with as many people as possible even if you went long periods of time between seeing certain groups. It’s sort of like knowing a lot about many things rather than be an expert at one thing. You know a lot about many friends but no expert on your close ones.

Would I trade that for a lifelong group of close friends?


Would you?


2 thoughts on “Having many friends but very few close friends”

  1. Even close friends come and go. Some close friends bring much happiness with their friendship, but over time, they change, or circumstances change, and you’re left with bitter memories or resentment. I encourage you to find that one special friend who will become your beshert, and once you do, hold on to her for dear life!!

  2. Came upon this through Twitter on Friday and wanted to leave a comment. I completely agree with Lowa on the account that obviously your partner in life should be your best friend (b’h). However, while I agree that friends come and go – saying that I’ve had so called ‘close’ friends move to Israel, New Jersey, Australia, Edmonton.. you name it .. all over the world.. who over the years friendships have slowed down in terms of closeness – I still do believe you can have close friends that stay forever. I can attest to this through seeing the close relationships that my parents have had with their friends. My mother, for example, has a strong group of friends from her childhood, high school and college years, both women and men, who she STILL considers to be her close friends. They still have socials, get together, and even give birthday cards and gifts to each other for birthdays/anniversaries over the years. They remember the old days, laugh, and also share funny stories from their younger social/dating lives – its absolutely incredible and in my opinion, inspirational. I always thought after people get married, that is where people’s social lives end in terms of close friends, but this completely proved that point wrong. In summary: Yes your partner should be your most important friend. But also yes, you can still keep close friends.

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