Tomorrow begins the holiday of Purim, and on the occasion of this wonderful holiday, I’ve decided to break the indefinite blogging hiatus in honour of the special holiday.
Even though this is my first post since my hiatus message, I am still dealing with a number of issues of which I am not ready to disclose through the blog or by any other means of social networking. I appreciate those who have offered their assistance and I am grateful for those who haven’t given up hope on me. It’s been an up and down roller-coaster ride, with seemingly good moments but mostly overshadowed by ugly ones and those who have been there for me have helped make those good moments shine brightly and create optimism for the future.
I won’t make this long because I know people are getting ready for Purim/Shabbat, and I don’t want to take anyone away from pressing needs…
Purim is a happy time of the year and no matter what ugliness is going on, there’s always that assurance that things will work out as long as you keep trying and keep the faith. Even though at this precise moment I feel completely disgusted with how I have handed myself this past week in preparing for the holiday, most evidently at the current time as I sit here having not eaten all day, on little sleep, and having spent all day making a costume that I don’t even know if anyone will see it… I’m not even close to being ready for shabbos and I don’t know if I even want to be ready… I still feel very alienated by the people closest to me in my life, but deep down I know that I am the one responsible for that, and I must suffer the consequences of my bad decisions.
Nonetheless, Purim will help ease the pain. Temporary it may seem – that pleasure, but most definitely worth it.
Rabbi Dessler teaches in his book entitled Michtav Eliyahu, that Purim is a time that we can reach very high levels of spirituality by means of physical indulgence. The direction of that indulgence is the key.
So for this Purim, I leave the message of doing what we can to utilize all our strengths, skills, and whatever traits we possess towards a proper and meaningful direction. I pray, with G-d’s help that this will not only come about on Purim, but also for the rest of existence.
Have a great shabbos and chag sameach to all.